A Bunch of Bananas

One off resettlement payments for losing their job
It’s disgusting to reward this dishonest mob
14K to close their office and a year’s salary of 66K
Plus an annual pension between 7 and 43 thousand to go away

First banana won’t be paid if committed of fraud
Second banana will still receive a yearly First Minister 138K reward
Third banana only served as an MP for two years
Fourth banana dubbed the country’s laziest MP to jeers

One banana two banana three banana four
Please don’t take the pi** out of me any more
Giz a Job, I could do that
At least I’d be rich even if I acted like a tw**

My Ultimate Nightmare

Maggie’s Conservative Government
Exposure to a nuclear bomb
Being pummelled by Max Bygraves
Losing my paper boy round
Failing my driving test for the tenth time
Being a Detective
Being a Birmingham City fan
Losing to Manchester United at Wembley

Not one of these tragedies is significant
Compared to my most vivid nightmare

They terrify me
Locked in a small room
Swathed in darkness
No opening windows
A fearful buzzing sound

Magnified by my fear
Such small things
So quick and deadly
I’m covered in strawberry jam
They crawl all over my skin

Where are my clothes?
The needle going in and out
Yellow and black stripes
Where have they been before
Covered in deadly germs

Nowhere to escape
A thick metal door
A panic room
With no key
No specified time limit
A challenge
No £100,000 prize for endurance
Just survival

I’m sweating profusely
I feel blindly for the newspaper
Fold it in half
At last a good use for The Sun

I swat at the walls constantly
Bad mistake
I’m bound to miss
I imagine the searing pain
Sure enough it’s extreme
Never ending

What a great method of torture
I must tell the CIA

It’s said that once one attacks
They all join in
Something to do with the smell of fear
The need to protect their leader

Can you imagine such a situation?
A locked room
Full of wasps
How would you cope?

Solitary Confinement

Being on my own
Is never easy
The long term thought
Makes me queasy

In deep conversation
With my solitary self
In everyday situations
People question my mental health

Cooking and eating alone
Is not much fun
Supermarkets cater for families
Everything’s more expensive to run

Lack of money doesn’t help
Unemployment brings despair
Illness, pain and lack of mobility
Yet the cupboards are bare

Sitting in an empty chair
Waiting for the phone to ring
Staring out the window in a daze
Listening to the birds sing

Aged without a family
My only company my TV
Waiting for door to door salesman
To knock and give me a little joviality

Confined to bed
My only daily contact
A short community nurse visit
My memories intact

If I had the chance
To live my life again
I’d be permanently jolly
And go out and find myself some friends

Cross Section

Cross Section
Reminds me of Woodwork at school
I always came last

Cross Section
Reminds me of dissecting rats
I didn’t enjoy it

Cross Section
Yes I do get angry
When people stop me doing things

52, 117, 9
Inner or outer circle
Nothing like time spent on a bus

Cross Section
Holidays to Cuba and Majorca cancelled
£1,600 lost; yet more anger

Cross Section
A consultant, Social Worker, the police get involved
I have no choice, no control

72 hours, 28 days, 6 months, 12 months
Long stretches keep my future at bay
They take my hope away

I wouldn’t mind if the system made a personal difference
It’s always too little, too late
And now I have little left

I’ve lost my job, my stability
My wealth, my family
My integrity, my confidence

I wish they’d interfered at the right time
Controlled my spending and my mood
Controlled my dreams

The horse has bolted
With effort I can get my life back
I can live happily every after

I don’t ever want to be cross again
I don’t ever want to be sectioned again
I just want personal stability
I just want Karma

Where Am I?

It’s boiling hot and stuffy
I cannot open the windows in Summer
Midges would bite me to death
I lie on my bed
I see two flashing red lights
Is it the tail lights of an aeroplane?
I occasionally see a helicopter outside
Are they coming to take me away?
Am I ill?
I’m supposed to be a member of the community
Living in the community
With the community
But four walls hem me in
Periodically alarms go off
I get woken up at 8 o’clock
Told to go to bed at 12 midnight
I share a kitchen and washing facilities
There’s a shared television room
A shared pool car
I know where I am
I wish I wasn’t here
I wish I was in a normal situation
I wish I was in control
I wish I was in control of where I was

Fright

I’ve locked myself away
Four walls keep me hidden
It’s all my own fault
The more I’m under the covers
The harder it gets
The more frightening it gets

The curtains are always closed
I’m scared of people
Frightened of reality
Ashamed of the label
I’m not behaving normally
I’m not dealing with my problems
I’m not in control of my future
Non involvement preordains my destiny
Not a happy one at that
It’s frightening and shameful
A viscous circle
A plan for life can break the cycle
Self worth brings self confidence
It’s such a chicken and egg situation

I’ve lost my self confidence
I don’t know what to say to people
I’m not happy
I don’t know when I’ll ever be happy
Negative thoughts keep going round and round
Perpetual motion

That’s bi-polar affective mood disorder
Constant activity when manic
Catatonic when depressed
It’s frightful and it’s frightening
I’ve been through it before fourteen times
I’ve eventually come out with a smile
There is hope
I’ll see you on the other side

General Infection

The 2010 General Election
Has resulted in a new direction
No one party has overall majority
Liberal Democrats hold power as a minority

Let’s hope for proportional representation
A truer reflection of the views of the nation
Better conditions for the poor
A National Health Service cure

The first Green seat has come to pass
The environment debated meaningfully at last
Carbon footprint measurement everywhere
As well as the level of Carbon Dioxide in the air

We spent millions on an election
Yet an Exit Poll produced perfect result detection
Why did we spend millions on an election?
When we always get let down by our selection

A lack of transparency and integrity
Fiddling expenses for their prosperity
A huge pension, a huge wage
A probable peerage when they leave the stage

Yet 65% of the Electoral Roll voted
And the radical view of the Sun was quoted
The Electoral system took it’s knocks
As people were turned away from the ballot box

Are you left wondering why?
This country will slowly die
When the people in power
Are such a useless shower

But the alternative is difficult to contemplate
A fascist state lying in wait
Communism is outdated and gone for ever
And politics means lies and deceit on the never never

You know it’s time for a change
Time for something strange
For the people to take control
And pull this country out of it’s hole

There are two main things that need to be resolved
Banks need to be devolved and controlled
People need to start to care
And to love each other everywhere

Back to the Sixties is where we should go
And Flower Power is what we should show
“Power To The People” did Cliff rejoice
Let the “Melting Pot” be mixed together out of choice

I’m sounding more and more like a politician
I keep going on and on
But the one thing we must reject out of hand
Is burying our heads in the sand