Fright

I’ve locked myself away
Four walls keep me hidden
It’s all my own fault
The more I’m under the covers
The harder it gets
The more frightening it gets

The curtains are always closed
I’m scared of people
Frightened of reality
Ashamed of the label
I’m not behaving normally
I’m not dealing with my problems
I’m not in control of my future
Non involvement preordains my destiny
Not a happy one at that
It’s frightening and shameful
A viscous circle
A plan for life can break the cycle
Self worth brings self confidence
It’s such a chicken and egg situation

I’ve lost my self confidence
I don’t know what to say to people
I’m not happy
I don’t know when I’ll ever be happy
Negative thoughts keep going round and round
Perpetual motion

That’s bi-polar affective mood disorder
Constant activity when manic
Catatonic when depressed
It’s frightful and it’s frightening
I’ve been through it before fourteen times
I’ve eventually come out with a smile
There is hope
I’ll see you on the other side