Where Am I?
It’s boiling hot and stuffy
I cannot open the windows in Summer
Midges would bite me to death
I lie on my bed
I see two flashing red lights
Is it the tail lights of an aeroplane?
I occasionally see a helicopter outside
Are they coming to take me away?
Am I ill?
I’m supposed to be a member of the community
Living in the community
With the community
But four walls hem me in
Periodically alarms go off
I get woken up at 8 o’clock
Told to go to bed at 12 midnight
I share a kitchen and washing facilities
There’s a shared television room
A shared pool car
I know where I am
I wish I wasn’t here
I wish I was in a normal situation
I wish I was in control
I wish I was in control of where I was
Written in early 2010. This once again describes what's it like in deep clinical depression, and describes the isolation of staying in a room on a rehabilitation ward in a mental health environment. There's a lack of hope. Being surrounded by depression re-inforces the mood and in the UK long waiting lists for housing don't help at all. Something should be done about this. I feel the subject of another poem coming on.
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